Fake Friends That Are Very Real #1: Jose Trevino

Now, the title should read, “Fake Friends That Are Very Real”, period. Not “#1”, because that would insinuate that I have more than one very real fake friend. Which I don’t. I don’t even have one for that matter. Let me explain.
One of my best friends is Jose Trevino. He’s like my brother. I love and care for him very much, therefore I talk about him a lot. Until recently, none of my other friends had ever met Jose, and yet even after having met him, they denied that they ever did.

Jose was a friend from high school, whereas all of my other friends are from college. For some reason, the two never mixed. So for years it went like this: “Oh sorry, I can’t hang out, I’m going to Jose’s.” No one ever questioned it. There was no reason too. Then out of the blue, they did. Some got suspicious. They started asking around. My friends realized that no one had actually ever met this mysterious Jose Trevino. Conspiracy theories rise and fall. However, one sticks:

Jose Trevino is not real.

He’s just someone who I made up so I could get out of hanging out with people. “Oh, I was out at Jose’s” really means, “I was hanging out by myself because I don’t like you guys”. A friend of mine went public with this theory at a social gathering, and everyone jumped on the band wagon like they do when the local sports team that nobody cares about  starts doing well; like a kid on an ice cream sundae on a hot summer day; like a fat kid on an ice cream sundae any day. The list of bad analogies go on, and so do the rumors. I actually had the opportunity to invite one of my friends over, the one who started the rumor actually, to meet Jose. He did come over. He did meet Jose. His wife met Jose.”Finally, it’s over” I thought, only to find out that he was telling everyone I hired an actor to come and play Jose Trevino. And of course, everyone believed him. No one to this day has met Jose Trevino, except Joey Richardson. “Wait, who’s Joey Richardson? Has anyone met Joey Richardson?…….”
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