The Little Riders

I started a club. The Little Riders Club. It currently has two members. Myself, and dare I say it, Jose Trevino. Now, you don’t have to be little to join. Being six-foot four, people always ask me if I play basketball. “Ha ha, no.” I tell them. “I want to be a jockey.” That normally shuts people up. They either find my sarcasm funny, or they don’t know what a jockey is. End. As I was saying, you don’t have to be little to join The Little Riders. You don’t have to even be a rider for that matter. We would like you to be though. Because, if you aren’t, then you won’t be able to participate in anything this club stands for or believes in.


Team Prayer: God, keep us safe, give us strength, keep us safe. AMEN

Goal: Tour de Irving

Government: Just like church. Elder led. Jose is head elder. I am the other one. No title.

Little Riders Lingo: Overdrive – third gear. Stealth – second gear. Climb – first gear.

Upon reading our motto, let  me tell you of some of our adventures as of late……

First Ride. We decide to take it easy since, it is my first time. Our first trip we ride six miles. This is a very good pace for beginners. It was glorious. Relaxed. Beautiful scenery. Just good old-fashioned fun. On our second ride for that day, we ride another ten miles. On our way, we battle a skunk. We won. Now, I realize that some readers reading this might be big fans of skunks. So when I say that we battled a skunk, what I mean is that we raced one. While we were riding we see this little, black ball running along the trail. As we approach, we realize what it is. Skunk. We then kick it into overdrive and ride as fast as we can. We didn’t know if the skunk was in attack mode or just running along the trail. It doesn’t matter. We won. Total distance: 16 miles

Second Ride. We decide to pick it up a bit for this ride. We didn’t know when to stop. So we kept going. We were having a really good time until we saw them. Dogs. Big ones. So we went to battle. Now, I realize that some readers reading this might be big fans of dogs. So when I say we battled the dogs, what I mean is that we ran for our lives. We kicked it into overdrive and made a u-turn. The intense wide, but fast u-turn led us into the forest. It was very hard to go fast while riding over mountainous terrain, and logs, and leaves, and grass. But, once back  on trail, we turn it on. I almost got bit. It was scary. I’m not going to lie about that. Dogs won. Total distance: around 30 miles.

Third Ride. We try a new trail this time. When we get there though the gate is closed. Trail off-limits. Do we let that stop us? No, of course not. Why would I build it up with a question like that just to say yes. Once we passed the point of no return, the gate, we head out. As soon as we start we see a spy plane from the local government department of parks and recreation. Now, this might not be true, because I highly doubt that the local government department of parks and recreation has a spy plane that catches night riders.  Regardless, we battled it. Jose and I kicked it into stealth mode and stayed in the shadows. We never saw it again. Win for the Little Riders. Take that parks and recreation…..(I don’t think anybody really cares about the parks and recreation department so I”m not going to defend it.) We continue on. Honestly there’s nothing like riding under a major highway overpass. There’s jut something about the night breeze and the crickets and the frogs and the cars zooming over your heads at deathly speeds. It’s from the Lord. Everyone should experience it. On our way home, we have to cross a major intersection. HONK. HONK. I turn around and see two cholos in a pick up truck. We battle them. Now, I realize that some readers reading this blog might be big fans of cholos. So when I say we battled the cholos, I really mean we had spat of words.  “Hey man, ya’ll look kinda gay wearing the same color shirts.” (me) “Oh, we’re just wearing what we have.” (the cholo) “Hey man I’m just looking out for you.” he says as points his finger at me and does one of those clicking sounds with his mouth. “Oh, thanks man I appreciate it.” Yes, we were both wearing teal shirts. It’s good to wear those colors at night because, they are reflective. It was just what we had at the time. Outcome of battle: stalemate. Nobody won. Total distance: unknown???

So, there you have it. If you want to be apart of our adventures, please do. No registration needed. Only a bike. And a will.

    • Randi
    • June 8th, 2011

    Ha-larious. You crack me up. I have a bike and a will, but I am no-where near hardcore enough to be a Little Rider…

  1. Man, you really shouldn’t be riding your bike alone in the dark like that. Or riding your bike alone, period.

    • I’m not alone. I’m with Jose, in the Little Riders Club. We always ride together….. thats why it’s a club.

    • Chad
    • June 8th, 2011

    I feel like this is a Demetri Martin comedy bit (mostly because of all the sentence fragments) that could be the plot for the next Napoleon Dynamite/Nacho Libre type of movie.

    • Becca
    • June 8th, 2011

    haha 🙂 I laughed 🙂 Thanks Ryan 🙂

    • dpb
    • June 8th, 2011

    that. was. awesome. #1 on to-do list after getting a job is get a bike! haha, i never really get these blog things, but yours is making me laugh man…keep it up.

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